Review: The Secret Wives of Andy Williams

I have to admit I didn’t have a clue who the eponymous hero was. Apparently he's a crooner from yesteryear, recently deceased; despite not knowing who he was the show was still laugh out loud funny. 

(Andy Williams)

Caitlin is a naughty nun, she loves another man more than Jesus. In a bid for purity, and to escape her father, Caitlin becomes a novice at the craziest and kindest nunnery I have ever seen. Accompanied by a brood of crack-pot orphans and strict yet kind nuns, Caitlin battles with some deep issues; life, death, love, other people’s expectations (especially the dead ones) and the true adoration of Andy Williams. Whilst this play confronts serious topics Hasler’s excellent script accompanied by Mayhew’s direction, and the sterling efforts of the entire cast, meant the only time I cried it was with laughter! 

The show really is funny and this is partly down to style. A cast of four deliver at least 10 roles between them; Mitchell for example playing a Scottish nun, an orphan with imaginary siblings including a sister called Nietzsche, a cockney bloke, and a French romancer by turns was both impressive and simultaneously hilarious. I think the hair clips reinforced the reality of a bloke playing a nun in plain sight and enhanced the comedic effect. Similar contrasting roles such as Platt’s novice nun to drunken royal, and Hasler’s strict nun to west-country orphan, keep the play dynamic and entertaining. 

Being a show mainly concerned with death and comedy, black humour played its part; a bell-ringer with no hands, a deceased saint with her boobs on a platter, and a nun with a tv-signal clarifying brain tumour all feature. That said Hasler is also unafraid of confronting death, religion and love head-on. There are plenty of references to philosophy in the piece (come on, the imaginary sibling is called Nietzche!) but not in a way which is exclusive to the less academically minded. 

Hasler has rendered the religious characters in the play with great gentleness; the nuns are kind-hearted women, sheltered from the world by prayer times and a blanket of khaki Battenberg cake! Even God, or the ‘bugger upstairs’ as one character calls him, is depicted as a benevolent parent who just wants His children to have fun. The show was funny without being offensive, crude or irreverent – I was impressed that Hasler credits the audience with enough maturity not to go for the easy laughs about the frigidity of nuns! 

Not all the inhabitants of the nunnery are naive, and their reasons for being nuns are as varied as the counties they were reared in. Just like the average audience member the characters have true depth. One of the stand-out features of this show is the fact the characters are laugh out loud funny without being one-dimensional slap-stick comedy props.

Adults playing children and men playing women has been the recipe for laughter for centuries; but the way in which Hasler has used these methods to discuss philosophy make this an altogether different performance to the standard ‘comedy about nuns’ show you might be expecting. 

The show is part of the Camden Fringe Festival with a running time of 1 hour dead. It runs til Saturday 24^th at the CamdenPeople’s Theatre. They are touring this Autumn, so catch them if you can!

The White Queen: On paper and TV

The recent unveiling of The White Queen television series prompted me to read Gregory’s book. Herewith my analysis of both.

The White Queen: On paper

As you know I do enjoy Gregory’s historical novels. I always enjoy the way women are at the centre of her narrative; providing a fresh perspective to historical events where women are portrayed as agents of change in a traditionally male context. This is particularly the case in The White Queen which takes place at the courts of the fifteenth century York kings. 

We return to a familiar cast for this novel; Mary Beaufort, Elizabeth Woodville and Anne Neville, and to familiar themes; the role of fate, the secret agency of women, and the power of gossip in the courts of kings. It was really interesting to read accounts of common events from all three novels, such as the Battles of Towton and Barnet through a second character’s eyes, having already read the narrative from Anne Neville’s perspective (The Kingmaker's Daughter).

(Elizabeth Woodville discusses the situation with King Edward, image: BBC)

Variation from previous Gregory novels I have read include the use of folklore as a counterpoint to the main narrative. Gregory borrows extensively from the story of Melusina water-goddess with magic powers, said to be the ancestor of the Burgundians, to illustrate the experience of the Woodville family and Elizabeth Woodville specifically, from a second angle;

‘She [Melusina] knew that being a mortal woman is hard on the heart and hard on the feet…He promised her that he would give her everything she wanted, as men in love always do. And she trusted him despite herself, as women in love always do’

Use of the Melusina narrative also enabled Gregory to explore the perception of Woodville as witch; medieval philosophy credited witches with real power to change situations with their craft, enabled only through contracts with the devil. Throughout the novel Woodville uses witchcraft at key moments in an attempt to change the progress of events. 

I had some frustrations with this novel. The White Queen, whilst interacting first-hand with the popular story of the princes in the tower was otherwise plot-light; and not as rewarding as say, The Kingmaker’s Daughter. The story of Elizabeth Woodville involves plenty of time in sanctuary waiting for men to succeed or fail in battle, revolt or be suppressed. As a result the majority of the action in the novel happens on its periphery or through the eyes of men in battle. There were several times I was tempted to quit on this novel before the end; reading yet another chapter of Woodville in sanctuary got boring! 

The White Queen: On TV

With the recent ‘discovery of Richard III’ (I’m a sceptic) a TV drama surrounding the controversy of the princes in the tower is a no-brainer for the BBC. Stretched over ten episodes, as opposed to the traditional 6-part series, The White Queen attempts to synthesise three of Gregory’s novels into a single series.

There are several successes to this series; there is plenty of sex, violence and period costumes, all of these sell! Similarly, as I just mentioned, if there were ever to be a time when the general public were interested in Richard III it would be now. In addition, I have stuck with the series since episode 1 (despite a sensationally weak opening episodes) so something must be keeping my interest; perhaps it was the unique decision to portray male monarchy through female eyes…

That said, there are several weaknesses to representing this period of British monarchy on TV. Firstly, everyone has the same name regardless of which side they are on (and let’s face it lots of them swap!) which makes the plot tricky to follow.

This situation is made all the more complicated by a decision to blend three of Gregory’s novels into one series from multiple perspectives. I can see that this might create added drama, and that creating three series from three different perspectives would be dry. There are, however, reasons why Gregory writes from one perspective at a time; I think one of these might be character loyalty. From page one in Gregory’s novels we watch events through one person’s eyes; the drama of Warwick’s defeat at Barnet is uniquely painful through the eyes of his daughter Anne Neville (The Kingmaker’s Daughter) or the departure of the princes from sanctuary through Elizabeth Woodville’s (The White Queen). The strength of feeling is definitely lost when the perspective on common events is shared between the three women. I found very little compassion or interest for Mary Beaufort (mother of Henry VII), for example, who is one of the three women who feature in the series. I wonder if this is because, unlike the other two main characters, I haven’t read the narrative from her perspective (The Red Queen) rather than because she is an intrinsically unlikable character…

(Mary Beaufort as depicted in the series. Image: BBC)

In sum, I’d give the book maybe 6.5/10 (not as strong as The Kingmaker's Daughter) and the TV series 7/10 (with at least one of those points dedicated to retaining my interest for 10 episodes!). 

Catch The White Queen series and other related content on BBC iPlayer this week.

I’ve read another really exciting book recently, Ann Veronica by H G Wells; keep your eyes peeled for that!

MONIKERS - A review

This last week I had the great pleasure of discovering a new cocktail bar and restaurant so I thought I'd let you in on this little gem.

I found MONIKERS whilst looking through Time Out online for a vegetarian-friendly bar in East London. MONIKERS fits the bill perfectly - located on trendy Hoxton Square and set in an old Chemistry classroom complete with periodic table and school lockers it offered us A* food and drink at affordable prices.

I chose MONIKERS for its chemistry lab theme - although we sat on the terrace, the school science lab feel runs throughout the restaurant from the school desk reception area to the table water delivered in lab beakers. The mezzanine floor of the restaurant has been decorated to look like the school bus complete with steering wheel, vinyl seats and a request-stop buzzer. Even the bathrooms were educational - complete with messages in English, French, German, Italian and of course Latin!

(Even the carafes are science-y)

The excellence of this restaurant was not limited to its commitment to theme.
Let me tell you about the food and drink.
We had two courses - I enjoyed Shetland mussels and fennel with a side of proper real chips - sensational flavours! I followed this with an Eton Mess that was a creamy delight of a pudding. My dinner companion had a very mediterranean main followed by a blueberry cheesecake the size of his head! The puddings were particularly affordable coming in at just a fiver!

Being grown ups (and fans of cocktails!) we were particularly keen to try their sweet concoctions. We made our way through a Great Gatsby (bright orange, Bulldog Gin and lots of Grapefruit - simultaneously fresh and strong!), The Figaro (Appleton XV rum, a large dose of fig syrup and orange bitters - a sparkling taste of summer in a martini glass) and a Strawberry Field (champagne, strawberry liqueur, chocolate sprinkles, hello!). All delivered promptly, all rather strong, and for a fair price of just £7.

(Strawberry Field - and my elbow - photocredit @joan_gp)

So the overall experience was lovely and the bar soon filled up, my only criticism was the amount of time it took to pay the bill. Short of actually standing up straight and shouting 'we'd like to pay now!' we did everything in our power to get their attention and it did take a horrendously long time to pay.

But if waiting time to pay is your only criticism I'd have said it was a pretty good evening out!

France Daily VI: Le Retour

The final in the daily blogs, my chaotic but grateful return.

I needed to get a cab, to board a train, to take a minibus, to board the aeroplane home. Easy right. No way.

Getting a cab inside a medieval city: As it turns out medieval cities weren't designed to be wide enough to pass lorries. So any cab you order may well get stuck behind a lorry unloading before or after you jump in. Not too bad in my case, just 10 mins late.

Boarding a train in France: First buy your ticket, with 3 people ahead of you in the queue and only 10 mins til the train leaves. Navigate a French ticket master who clearly sees neither your urgency nor your luggage and asks if you've got another 10 cents for the change. Congratulate yourself on making it to the platform with a whole 6mins to spare only to discover its one of those platforms split in two and that's your train 200ft away and with only 2 mins to departure. Cue running. And this bruise from the Chateauneuf bottles bashing your leg as you run.

 (the price you pay for good wine!)

To take a minibus: I arrived at Nimes station with plenty of time to spare. So, half an hour before the little shuttle bus was due to leave I decided to work out where it left from. Supposedly easy - the map of the station 'clearly' showed its location, so I looked around the locale and there were neither signs nor bus shelters for this bus. I asked the 'station info' point - he had no idea. I went out and checked again. Nothing. Just as I lost hope, a bus drew past me - the shuttle! I successfully boarded the only shuttle bus to leave Nimes that day. He waited 3.5 mins for any passengers before moving on. Not a big window of opportunity by any means. I had thought all my worrying would then be over, but the route the driver took out of the city was very different to that which I had taken just 6 days previously. We were heading towards 'Garons' with the airport sign. Then when we got there the departure lounge looked so different to the airport I had left that I actually asked the driver if I was at Nimes airport. Luckily for me he said yes (and rolled his eyes)

To board the aeroplane home: This bit was actually very easy, my bags came in underweight, there was plenty of time for me to eat Haribo - albeit with a disappointingly large amount of licorice in it -  drink coke and indulge in other habits of a balanced lifestyle! All was calm again until England I was running again for a train to central London and once liberated of my baggage, to see my sister's  show.

(healthy diet)

The South of France in summary:
Sunny, disregards health and safety, has a penchant for castle-like abbeys, good taste in theatre, coastlines and amazing wine, appreciates fine pastries, contains donkeys, requires a car really, has a sensational mistral wind, scented by lavender, olive oil and broom plant. Not bad for a week off.

As this blog marks the end of my holiday normal weekly(ish) service will be resuming next week. For now, thanks for reading.

France Daily V: Palais et Villeneuve

Today I decided to stay fairly local to Avignon itself, exploring its famous UNESCO protected Palais des Papes and the nearby town of Villeneuve-lez-Avignon.

Palais des Papes

The Palais is a massive palace built by the Popes, primarily in the fourteenth century. It is a large fortified space with all of the characteristics of a castle, stores for money and food, a Great Hall for entertaining, large walls for defence. As usual I bought an audio guide, unlike the tour of Nimes Amphitheatre this tour focussed on explaining what was on show in a historical context or with heed of the archaeology, much less interested in creating a narrative to spark the imagination. 

One clever feature of the tours was that the videos installed around the building were auto-synched with the headsets meaning that not everyone in the room was subject to the noise and all visitors were able to watch the video with audio in their own language. They also made heavy use of the touch screen capability of the audio guides to show more content. 

My criticisms: 1. The route around the Palais was not easy to follow, often having to guess which way to turn for the next step, this wouldn’t have been a problem if not for, 2. The centre of the Palais was full of staging, as at Nimes and thus you had to trust the route to know you hadn’t missed anything, 3. The art exhibition at the site, included bits of dead horse in the chapel - I’m note sure about that. 4. on the audio commentary they kept telling you the room’s ornaments weren’t original - either get some that are or mention it once - the cumulative effect of telling us every time made me think, ‘is anything here original?’

(Palais des Papes)

Leaving Avignon behind me I ruminated on the reality that most of intra-mural Avignon is UNESCO protected - and how, just at Djenne, that will have both supported the town (through tourism) and limited it - all the roads are really narrow - too narrow for road transport really, most housing is 18th century or older. If you are an inhabitant of the city both the tourists and the lack of infrastructure can be quite frustrating…

Villeneuve-lez-Avignon

Crossing the river on the modern Pont d’Avignon I walked to the town of Villeneuve-lez-Avignon. Lonely Planet said it was like Avignon without the crowds. Whilst walking Avignon’s battlements I had seen several buildings that looked interesting so decided to seek them out - at first merely heading in the ‘right’ direction. As at Marseille this decision to go off book, didn’t pay dividends. I ended up walking a very long way round for some mediocre views and several main roads. The stripey building was nice though. Reconciled to my need to start again I came across a far better path. Containing amongst other things a windmill, a tower and a donkey! The Phillipe le Bel tower was a mere snip at just 1.50€ with my Avignon tourist pass) and provided an amazing panorama of Avignon and the surrounding region, you all know how I love climbing towers by now. 

(Hello Donkey)

After I had greeted the donkey in the appropriate fashion I found the old town which had previously eluded me and stopped for a bit of lunch. I had goats cheese and fig chutney and a lot of slightly pretentious lemonade. Chic Picnic were very accommodating. Feeling like myself again I found the Abbey and Gardens (cheaper than Avignon again at just 5.50€, and without the crowds) were the source of all those fortifications so visible from the battlements of Avignon. I also found another abbey (Chartreaux - 13th century and similarly fortified) but requesting 7€ entry fee at 4pm I gave it a miss and instead stumbled upon the Olive Mill - what a find! 

In this part of the world olive oil is a big deal and the restrictions on its quality are similar to the restrictions on wine - the best have appelations. With both better quality and lower prices than Avignon’s tourist district I made the most of buying presents here. And then trotted back to Avignon about  45 mins walk, and only requires taking your life in your hands once or twice. Get a bus, the number 5 will take you!

With Villeneuve once again I rued my lack of car transport which would have made all the difference, enabling me to jump between sites with ease, but again whether I’d have had the confidence to drive on such inclines and between such narrow passages I am less sure. I could definitely have spent longer in Villeneuve but after a while all these papal fortifications start to blur into one like a never ending game of Carcassonne and its time to go home.

Quick note: Cinema Utopia

We went to this Art Cinema tonight, excellent things included; no need to pre-book, not extortionate entry fee (6.50€ each), choice and selection, running 20 different films most days across 4 different times meant there were plenty of options, unique location close to the Palais and with plenty of fine art to line the walls. I was less keen on Jesus and the cherubs who were the last thing you see as the lights dim and the first thing to reappear as the credits roll - bit creepy. 

Tomorrow the return to English soil.

France Daily IV: Chateauneuf

Today I thought I’d invest in my heritage and go on a wine tour; when in the south of France…

I booked the tour from the local tourist office a few days before and then a sleek black minicab picked me up at 9 am. Its a full day’s work this wine tasting malarky. I was joined on the tour by 5 americans including one who claimed she was English because she lived in London, I know.

For the modest (!) sum of 110€ we had a comprehensive chauffeur service including the setting of our seating, ‘you are on vacation!’, a tour of the local wine museum (its free to visit), a lesson in wine tasting and visiting 4 vineyards. I think if you had access to a car and had done your research in advance you could probably have done the whole thing yourself with much less cost. Driving through the village of Chateauneuf just pick a sign that looks interesting, park in the drive and have a ‘dégustation gratuit’ in the salesrooms. The benefit of the tour was access to a car (I was on public transport - it would have been pretty tiring on a bike!), the wine tasting session and going to see the caves. I guess the sommelier wisdom also played its part too but to what degree I don’t know.

(messing about in the vineyards)

The wine tasting lesson itself was hilarious - some aspects of it were infinitely practical - telling age by colour and taste. The description of flavour however seemed farcical, you can claim it smells like anything you want it to - including peaches, leather, smoke or indeed grapes, as long as you can attach it to a scent ‘family’. Similarly the last smell test when the wine is gone, for which you have to raise your glass like a trumbone possibly added for comedic effect.

One of my favourite parts of the day was lunch. We went to a little place right next to the Popes summer-house called Le Verger des Papes. With the Rhone, mountains and endless rows of vines as a backdrop the food is just so vibrant, vine tomatoes, chickens with herbes de provence and of course plenty of Chateauneuf.

(not a bad view!)

There was always the opportunity to buy and I regret not buying La Fiole du Pape, not just because it comes in a funny wobbly bottle but because it had a lovely fruity flavour (hyporitical I know). If you’re interested I bought one red and one white Chateauneuf from Roger Sabon, I didn’t know until today that you could white Chateauneuf apparently its a bit unusual. Neither of those will be drinkable for a little while, so into the cellar they go. I also bought a Rasteau because I like sweet dessert wines. 

(Wine Caves Chateauneuf)

In all I enjoyed learning new things about wine and the commaraderie of jumping in the minibus - for a lone traveller definitely a benefit. Tomorrow - Palais des Papes, Villeneuf lez Avignon and the impact of UNESCO, maybe a film too we’ll see. For now, santé!

France Daily III: Avignon

I ought to start my description of Avignon with  our dinner last night. My charming host took me to a cute little French place specialising in tartines. Ginette et Marcel came thrice recommended by my host, Trip Advisor and my Lonely Planet guide and understandably so! The food was excellent; I had goats cheese and honey, the three cheese and pear was also grand, the wine was lovely. We stayed for pudding and coffee, and didn´t faint when we saw the bill! The atmosphere was great too- gently kitsch, no pretence and the service none too in your face.

(A slice of Ginette et Marcel)

This morning I set off in search of a local french patisserie, I failed and ended up in an incredibly touristy place. I did however convince them that no I didn´t want to eat my over priced croissant on their terrace. I did enjoy a little reading and typing croissant in hand - that´s the dream isn´t it?

Avignon Tourist Office produce a map booklet with three key routes through the town. I followed their blue route of Mansions and Monasteries through the city. It started at a lovely little free municipal museum. An enjoyable diversion but nothing to write home about. The rest of the route was very picturesque, a great excuse to play with all the settings on my new camera. That said, the scale of the map was such that half the important road names, where one must turn left or right, were omitted - you could spot people on this walking tour as they stood dumbfounded at a dead end! So top marks for free tourist resources in a gorgeous location, but poor follow through on the detail.

(Pretty Avignon)

The route led me to the garden of the Palais des Papes. The garden is a stunning location and a must-see you can even walk part of the city walls here. It provides amazing views of the surrounding area up to the snow capped mountains in the distance, the sister town of Villeneuf-les-Avignon, the Rhone beneath you and a myriad of tourists attempting to dance on the famous Pont d'Avignon. Up on this promontory the mistral is really strong - driving through the Rhone Valley it whipped my hair into a frenzy and I felt so alive! The mistral really is kind, blowing away clouds, taking the bite off the summer heat and creating the ideal weather for great wine! I returned to the garden at sunset, hoping for picturesque photos of the Palais in the setting sun but instead found hawkers and danger. I have always promised to be sensible, so as soon as I sensed trouble I came home by the quickest known route.

(The Rhone, The Pont, The Palais)

I intend to explore the Palais and Villeneuf village more fully later this week but for now that´s all because tomorrow the field of the Chateauneuf await!